We asked a retired plant whisperer to make us one perfect soil… she came back with 105! We’re still processing that.

November 05, 2025

The Tezula Plants Potting Mix Legend

We’ll be honest, we may have gone a bit overboard here! We scraped together all our pocket money, emptied the swear jar (if you’ve ever been around the boss, you know how full that jar was!), and somehow convinced a long-retired plant whisperer — a true horticultural genius (yup, the kind of person who argues with worms about pH levels!) — to come out of hiding and create something special for us.

We were thrilled when she said yes! Being in the industry for so long, we were well aware of her achievements and reputation. To be quite frank, we were fully prepared to resort to a little blackmail if she refused — but thankfully, she loved our idea and said it was long overdue.

We told her, “We want the best soils on Earth — something for every grower, every plant, and every place they might be grown.” The Professor (we’re not allowed to say more) took it a bit… literally. Then she vanished! Months passed. No emails. No calls. We started to worry — maybe she’d gone feral, living in a compost heap somewhere. Had we pushed her off the potting ledge?

Then one day she reappeared, wild-eyed, clutching a notebook thicker than a plant parent’s camera roll. Inside were not one, not two, but 105 unique potting mix recipes. We honestly thought we should’ve maybe drug-tested her first when we saw what she’d created (she laughed — and fully approved that joke). But it soon became very clear, after we mixed up the first few blends, that this was something really special. They made us question everything we thought we knew about soil… and we thought we knew a lot.

Finally — grow mixes designed to support you and your growing conditions, not just a bunch of ingredients tossed together that you have to accept, or twenty different bags you have to mix yourself. Who needs that much closet space anyway? (If you know, you know!)

We’ll start rolling these out gradually from 2026, and as the most popular versions rise to the top, we’ll make sure they become readily available across all platforms. Every mix will still be made by hand to order, with room for a bit of customization — just how we like it.

We’re truly honored she agreed to help us. We’d love nothing more than to tell the world who created these mixes, but we promised to respect her wish for anonymity. She told us her time in the spotlight is long past — these days, she’s content just to wake up, see where the day takes her, and maybe check on a few earthworms to chat about cation exchange.

Tezula Plants Potting Mixes — 100+ carefully crafted blends for every root, leaf, and dream you’re growing (or hope to grow). Born from obsession, rooted in science, and perfected with just the right amount of madness.

And of course, if we don’t have what you’re looking for (seriously?!!?), you’re more than welcome to send us your own recipe — we’ll make it for you too. Unless, of course, you’re using something ultra-rare like unicorn horn… in which case, you’re on your own!

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’ve got 105 names to come up with and only one pot of coffee....